Sometimes in life, it beats our imagination when we see the way people think, especially the illiterates, about the female folks. Here in Edo state, and Ondo State especially in Esan land and Owo where we come from, being a woman restricts you in so many ways.
You’re not permitted to air your view, whether in private or public. Like seriously? Are we not humans too? Everything she owns automatically belongs to her husband even when he has no single clue on how she got them, so long she got them whilst under his roof.
Let’s leave that aside for now and let’s look at the abominations. It is a mighty taboo for the woman to cheat on her husband. In fact, the lives of her husband and children are at stake if she doesn’t go to perform the necessary cleansing and blah blah blah. Now we are not in any way supporting cheating but have we looked at the male counterpart? He can have as many women to warm his bed anytime and it is considered normal. “He’s a man” they say, “he has to get what you’re not giving him from another source.” Thunder!!!!
Sometimes, we feel it’s the village witches that harm the woman’s children just to make her bring fat goat for them. Hehehe… Don’t mind us, we can still joke no matter how serious we get. There are some words that are abominable for the woman to use against the man no matter how angry she gets, but for the man, he can use it a thousand and one times on her a day. How romantic!
Is her mouth too small to talk back or what? Or is she not permitted to get angry?
The recent one we heard about and it’s still cracking us up is; if the woman pushes her husband by any means and he falls, it’s an abomination. Eh!! Wait oh. The man pushes her to the ground and uses her to learn boxing, no abomination has been committed then. But when it’s getting unbearable and he falls in the process of her trying to escape, Ahhhhhh!!!! Awa!! The gods must hear this. Is she supposed to remain and die there first?
Then he starts to announce how he won’t touch anything she touches until she goes to his village to appease the gods. Chai! If it were us, we would start by touching all the money in his pockets and wallets, touch food, touch all his clothes, bros walk naked. In fact we’d touch his male organ, let’s see if he’ll cut it off.
Sometimes we wonder what women have done to deserve this. Like, is it a crime to be born with a vagina? Last time we checked, we all came into this world through the same process. The delivery of a male child is not harder or more painful. Is it to be supportive, respectful or hard working? Call an Esan or Yoruba woman you know and see if in one way or the other she hasn’t been a strong backbone in her husband/children’s success. If she’s a traditionalist, she kills a fowl on their behalf. A Christian, her knees are scalded from kneeling at the altar. A Muslim, her forehead is stained from constant bowing to Allah. So what do you really want from the woman you promised to cherish all the days of your life? Why treat her like your property instead of the better half she is to you?
If you ask those covering with Christianity, they’ll be quick to quote Ephesians 5: 22-24. But what do they make of the same Book ,5:25-33? Has that place been carved out of the male Bible? Because it seems they have their special Bibles too.
I am an Esan lady and I deserve to be treated with respect. I am a Yoruba lady and I deserve that also. We stand on behalf of all Esan and Yoruba women. It’s time we are been valued for who we truly are. The Bible might call us help mates, but remember that even God has given us the honor that every MAN, even the kings comes through her.
When we make these campaigns, they spit and call feminists despicable names. They say: No sane man born of a woman should marry a feminist. Dear ladies, I want you to come out and shout: “I’m a woman, I’m not a property, I’m not a liability, I’m the backbone to my family…….”
This article was written by Ethel Gianna Egbe and Oluwaseun Beatrice Wende. We are proud feminists, and we are not ashamed to be one.