Narrating Thriller video from my perspective.
So, if I were the girl Michael Jackson took on a date in the Thriller video, this is how I would narrate the whole event. 👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽
So, peepz, one evening like that, I decided to accept a date with this cute guy with nice curly hair, we’ve been friends for a while and I kinda had a crush on him.
We were driving in his blue Cadillac when the car suddenly stopped.
“I’m out of gas” he says.
Like seriously dude? You’re out of fuel on a date? Oh come on! Red flag number one, but hey, a girl has no sense when she likes someone, so I didn’t make it a big deal.
I agreed to start walking with him. Oh shit! A whole me? Trekking on a date? This is just a disaster.
Suddenly, he stopped.
Dude said he likes me a lot and I blushed, yes, ladies and gentlemen, I stupidly blushed and told him I liked him too. Then he asked if I would be his girl.
Whaaaaaat? 😮😲 Damn! I’m going to be the envy of all them slay mamas because he’s kind of popular and well, cute.
So I hugged the dude and said “Yes Michael.”
Then he gave me a ring. I’m like 😦😯, you’re broke and can’t buy fuel for the car you borrowed but can buy me a ring? ☺☺ awww, he’s so sweet.
Then dude said he needs to tell me something. In my mind, I was like ‘hope say no be tiff you tiff this fine ring now.”
Anyway, so he says “I’m not like other boys.”
Well, duh, other boys don’t start trekking on a first date. But I’m nice, so I said I know that, but I still liked him none the less.
Dude said no, I don’t understand, he meant he’s different. Before I could ask how, nigga starts breathing heavily, face be like person wey wan shit hard shit.
“Michael, are you okay?”
But no, dude turned into a full blown werewolf. You have got to be kidding me. 🤦🏾♀
You knew it was your time of the month and you still brought me out on a date? You don’t see me wearing white when I’m on my period, do you? 🤷🏾♀ So I screamed,
And started running for my dear life with this whack job after me.
I tripped and fell, and dude bent over me, I was already reciting act of contrition by then, in case I die, I wan go Heaven. But suddenly, we were in a cinema, watching a horror movie.
Don’t ask me how it happened, I got no idea either.🤔🤔
Whatever was on the screen was so scary, so I screamed and covered my face in his jacket. And do you know what the guy was doing? He was smiling.
Worst part he was eating pop corn. Like what the hell? I’m scared here and dude is eating pop corn, not to mention, he only bought for himself and was eating alone.
Mtcheeew, chop alone die alone 🖐🏾🖐🏾..
So, I got pissed and I walked out after he said he liked the movie, despite the fact that I was scared. I stood outside and he took a long time before coming to meet me.
He sha apologized oh and we started walking home. Dude started dancing and singing around me, it would have been romantic if he wasn’t singing about doom and death and horror. Is something wrong with this guy?, 😱😱
I smiled, make he no be like say I no too encourage am. Na so we waka pass this old cemetery oh. That was how zombies and dead bodies started resurrecting and walking towards us. Before we knew it, we were surrounded. I turned to look and guess what?
Dude transformed into one of them and they started dancing. I mean, I shouldn’t be shocked again, but Can this date get any weirder? No be say I fear oh, but e get as the thing be now. They danced perfectly together, which means oga has been practicing choreography with dead people. Aye mi 🙆🏽♀🙆🏽♀
So, ladies and gentlemen, I ran oh. I ran with my hands up. Luckily, I saw their house and I ran inside but it looked strange and deserted. Next thing, onku and his dead family members started breaking in through the walls and the ground, Holy Michael, where is you? 😪😪
He stretched his hand and I closed my eyes calling Jesu Kristi.
Then I opened my eyes and the house was bright and normal. Dude looked pretty normal too, he smiled and said he’ll take me home and I started wondering if I imagined everything until dude’s eyes glowed yellow.
So chicas, if you meet this black nigga with red jacket and a borrowed blue Cadillac, do not go out with him. Abort mission cuz he’s a freaking weirdo and possibly a living dead. 👻
And if that does not scare you, well, he’s broke and stingy, he doesn’t share his pop corn. So I’m sure that should discourage most of you.
Bless you 🙏🏽