So, there’s this common and general notion that it is normal for a man to cheat. You’ll hear statements like “Men are polygamous in nature” or “It’s in a man’s DNA to cheat”. I’m a medical student, all through my DNA biochemistry classes, never once was it mentioned that cheating was encoded alongside the nucleic acid, ribose sugar or the nitrogenous bases. So I’m still trying to understand where that theory came from.
Anyway, cheating in this sense is infidelity, not exam malpractice. Whether it’s marriage or courtship, all na relationship. Wikipedia defined cheating as acting dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage.
When start sneaking around on your partner, lying about your whereabouts and your relationship with that secret ‘friend’, that’s dishonesty. The advantage you are getting by being dishonest is the pleasure. It doesn’t have to be physical pleasure, it can also be Emotional.
No one is saying women don’t cheat. Oh, they do. But statistically, men cheat more. Deal with it. Forget the statistics, the main topic is why do people feel it’s normal for a man to do it but it’s very abnormal and absolutely disrespectful for a woman to try it. The answer is no, no one is right in doing it.
A guy once used the Bible as a backup. He said the law of Moses clearly stated that a woman found committing adultery should be stoned to death, but nothing was said of the man involved. He said it meant that men are free to cheat. If we are going Biblical, why doesn’t common sense lead such people to the part where Jesus said if a “man”, note the word ‘man’, looks at a woman lustfully, he has committed adultery.
Jesus was clearly telling us that no one is permitted or exempted from adultery simply because he’s the man. After all, Jesus said he came to correct some teachings of old. Another said cheating is like having an appetite for fruit salad. He said they want, sorry, need to have a taste of different fruits since its good for healthy living.
So Bros, you know say na fruit salad you wan chop, na him you no continue to dey chop am. Why did you have to keep apple in the house only to start looking for oranges and bananas? If you knew you couldn’t connect with her emotionally, why marry her? If you knew she wouldn’t satisfy you, why marry her? Men have stayed faithful and they did not die.
Their masculinity was not reduced nor was their libido cut off. Why can’t we emulate or make quotes about those ones? Why is it the negative ones that attract us? Don’t justify your misdeeds by the distance, don’t justify it by the issues you are having.
Work it out, infidelity as a normal outlet is not the answer. It is not something normal or natural, not for a man and definitely not for a woman.
A Yoruba adage says “Whatever is not good, is not good. It has no two names other than bad.” Infidelity is not good and normal, there is no other explanation for it.
© Oluwaseun Beatrice Wende, 2017